Societies Secret}The Hidden Crime of Incest
Society has changed over the past century or two. Religion and morality, once rooted in societies very essence, its reason to unite us all as members of a group living together with purpose and responsibility to each other has become lost to many of our neighbors. While the law stipulates what is permissible and what is not, much happens behind our closed doors, things that should horrify us.
Incest exists today as it has throughout history. Sexual relations with a blood relative. There are people who are trying to change the law, making incest not a crime, but allowed within our society. Statistics tell us that this is a hidden crime, but non the less it is criminal, unmoral and needs to be recognized and stopped. It is believed that the most common form of incest happens between older male relatives and younger children. I was molested when I visited my extended family in Hungary (aged 8 yrs. old). Assaulted twice by an uncle, I told adults of this occurrence only to be ignored and even punished for impugning the character of said relative. PTSD is often a result of incest, along with other coping mechanisms, including self-injury. While the first thing someone can do for a victim of incest is to believe them, most often a person will not challenge the aggressor, but rather the victim.
Incest as a form of abuse, can be challenging, as it differs from culture to culture. Perceptions of incest varies across societies, and actions to stop it depends what location the victim is in. In western society the incest taboo is and has been the most common of all cultural taboos. Incest can be sexual abuse such as intercourse, sexually inappropriate acts, or the abuse of power based on sexual activities. This form of abuse is very damaging to a child’s psyche and will result in prolonged post-traumatic stress disorder.
Results of this form of abuse can be self-injury, substance abuse, eating disorders, issues with disassociation or perhaps promiscuity. U.K. Studies have shown that the ultimate sacrifice, suicide can and has resulted from this form of abuse. The child may grow to adulthood but finds their place within the family and society challenged, or they may feel dirty, unworthy of assistance, perhaps protecting their family member from legal repercussions. The victim is mentally unable to find an avenue for their grief, fear, disgust towards themselves or the aggressor. When a family member assaults a child in this fashion, they have a hold upon the victim, a secret that is presented to the victim as self-destructive in nature. “You tell someone, I will deny it, say your lying” and “who will they believe, me or you”? A child abused like this, will often grow to adulthood and the abuse may very well continue unstopped by the victimizer.
Victims experience fear (they did something wrong), self-shame, and undue responsibility of perhaps disrupting the family should they announce this happening. Other family members can and do blame the victim as though the victim may have asked for it, similar to the trauma a rape victim experiences. Child sexual abuse impacts children more than AIDS, gun violence, LGBTQ inequality combined, yet it is often publicly hidden, mentioned only when the Abortion issue is brought up as a reason for legalized abortions. Intentionally or not, children continue to protect adults who have claimed the child’s innocence, and probably changed their lives forever.
Incest makes people recoil, making them squirm uncomfortably. We are told by our public officials, church leaders and moralists amongst us that incest is wrong, brutal, manipulative and should be stamped out. Then nothing is done. The religious and public authorities do not want to, or cannot enter our homes, our bedrooms, our castles. They can only pontificate and teach the immorality of incest. Few are arrested and in prisoned for this crime. The intentional manipulation, abuse and sexual use of minors is often viewed as a mental health issue, with the attempt of public authorities to stay away from the uncomfortable legal avenues they have.
While society is shocked by the clergy abuse within organized religious organizations and what has happened to untold Aboriginal Children, the shock experienced does not follow to the issues of incest. Why? It is easier to blame an organization that was once a bedrock of society like the Catholic Church, but entirely more difficult to accuse and bring to justice a family member. Whether unintentionally, unconsciously, collectively or individually many of us are unwilling to accept and deal concretely with the depth and scope of incest within our society, community or our very homes.
Incest is human evil, the manipulation and sexual use of an innocent, a child. It is a mental health issue, but it is much more than that. It carries with it multiple rape, assaults, mental manipulation with a horrid human result in time. Incest is much like the murder of a child’s innocence, the child’s future potential. If I were to meet my uncle today, the man who sexually assaulted me, I fear bad things would happen. As a result of the two assaults, I became in time a man filled with rage, often not recognizing why. I believed the event had been hidden away in my memory. Like a cancer it leached into my subconscious only to result in violence perpetrated by me. The people who inflict their selfish wants and desires upon the innocence of this world must be punished, for desire is not a mental illness is it? And sexual desire unbridled by social conscience and morality is a serious crime.
What will you do about this issue? Allow it to hide within the shadows or fight the good fight? Should you witness such an event, or fear someone is being victimized contact someone with authority or call the Police, or Child Protective Services. It is your duty to do so.
Steven Kaszab
Bradford, Ontario
skaszab@yahoo.ca